Spiritual Thoughts

The other night I had a dream...and in that dream I got a phone call from a distinguished sounding gentleman who said he was a member of the stake council and was fulfilling the role of Journal Advisory Committee and was calling to see if I had been keeping a journal or not. I stammerd and chuckled a bit, before admitting that I in fact, had not been keeping a current journal. But then, a thought occured to me. "Wait! I keep a blog...does that count??" I said, hoping he wouldn't mark me on his list as a "non-journal keeper". The man laughed and said he felt that if I was keeping spiritual thoughts in this blog of mine that it could count as a journal. I hardly ever remember my dreams, but for some reason this one stuck with me. So I figure I had better listen to this dream and write some spiritual thoughts so that if the Journal Advisory Commitee ever calls me, I can tell them about my blog!!
Like everyone else lately, I have been thinking a lot about prophets. Mostly about how grateful I am for President Hinckley and how deeply his words and actions had an impact on me. There were so many times that the Spirit undeniably testified to me that he is the mouthpiece of the Lord. But I am really excited for the new Presidency too. I love President Utchdorf (I think that's right) and I am sure that President Monson will be just as amazing as President Hinckley was. I am also really grateful that we are studying the teachings of Joseph Smith in Relief Society. He has become even more real to me in just a few chapters than before. Any of you who aren't in Relief Society, should still read the lesson book because there are so many good things in there! Today, I was so struck by Joseph Smith's teaching that one of the most important things that we have in the Church is the Prophets and Apostles testimony of Christ. That he lived, died, was resurrected, and still lives today. It is so wonderful to have leaders in the church who are so close to the Lord and to have an actual account of a prophet who saw him. It also made me think about how everything in the Church is centered around the Savior. That is what the gospel is all about and I love it!!! Sometimes callings can be tedious and there are times when the demands seem great, but when it comes down to it, the gospel is amazing and wonderful and I am so grateful to be a part of it!!!!

Little Tykes...

It's been quite a while since my last blog and a lot has happened so I'll start at the beginning. First, I'll reminisce about life with 3 kids. It was fun! Busy, tiring at times, but for the most part it went pretty well. When I look back now, things were kinda a blur, but I think everything went really well. Dropping Christopher off at his new family's house was really sad, mostly because Christopher was so upset. I swear he knew all along what was happening. From the moment we found out that we weren't going to be able to adopt him, he became really needy and wanted to be held a lot, and it just got worse once we started transitioning him to another family. I've surprisingly been able to hold it together though. I think Heavenly Father has been blessing me tremendously. I miss him, and think about him often. What makes me so sad, is that he had such a hard time once he went to live with the new family that they had to move him and his brother to yet another home. I've written letters and made phone calls to practically everyone at the foster care office to try and get Chris back with us, but they insist on keeping the brothers together. The foster care system is so difficult, all about policy and procedure and not what is best for the child. But I feel I've done what I can, and hopefully we made a positive difference to Christopher. Dustin had a few rough days after Christopher left, but he seems to have adjusted pretty well. He loves our new foster baby, Liz just as much as he loved Christopher. He gives her kisses frequently, and likes to help me burp her. She is the best baby I have ever seen. She hardly ever fusses, she sleeps through the night, and she lays on the floor and coos and smiles
all day long. It's wonderful. The most recent event was the morning we woke up to find everything covered in snow!!! We bundled the kids up and took them to the park and Dustin had a ball!! He was throwing snowballs and catching snowflakes on his tongue. So cute. This is just a fun little father son moment I posted below.

Three's a crowd!

I always hate when the holidays are over. Everyone goes home, the decorations get taken down, no more baked goods everywhere you go. Sigh, our Christmas was great though. Tim's parents were here which was fun. I was able to get my house mostly decorated and my mother-in-law was somewhat impressed. I was so tickled by Dustin opening his presents. He opened one toy and then wanted to play with it till he got tired and wanted to open another one. It was cute, but it took forever for him to open all of his presents. Christopher had fun too. Although he mostly liked playing in all the wrapping paper and trying to play with whatever Dustin had at the time. Christopher is still with us but will be leaving either this week or next. The sadness has been somewhat eased by another addition to our household. We just got a 4-month old baby girl who is so incredibly good! She fits in so great. It's like she's always been here. So right now we have a 4-month old, a 12-month old, and a 21-month old! Having 3 babies is fun except when I have to go somewhere! Then things get a little tricky. I was so surprised at how good the boys are with her. Especially Dustin. He always kisses and hugs her and makes her smile. It still is going to be super hard when Chris leaves, but at least there won't be an empty room anymore. I'm hoping both Dustin and Christopher adjust well and things go smoothly. The new family that Christopher will be living with seems really nice and they are being really understanding about our situation. Anyway, anytime any of you gals are bored, please give me a call or stop by because I'm starting to get a little stir crazy now that I don't leave the house unless I have to! I would love to post some pics of Christmas and all the babies, except that I somehow misplaced our camera over the holidays and still haven't been able to find it. So hopefully it will turn up or I'll have to buy Tim a late Christmas present!

Mission Complete.....sort of...

We finally moved!!! Which is why my blog has been neglected for so long. We just finished cleaning our old apartment today and only have 3 more boxes to unpack before we are officially moved in. The past couple of weeks have been a blur consisting mostly of packing, unpacking, and cleaning, but there have been some events that I wanted to write about. The first is that Christopher turned 1 just over two weeks ago! I can't believe he's one already. The past six months have gone by so fast. (I will post pictures of the party as soon as I find the cords for the camera!) He ate a ton of cake and loved it! It was super cute. It's bittersweet writing about it because we also just found out that we will not be adopting the little guy after all. It was decided that he and his half-brother will be placed in another foster home together until they decide where they are going to go permanently. Christophers aunt and uncle who moved here from Alaska are hoping to adopt them both, but DHS isn't giving them any guarantees. I find myself really angry at the system for handling the case so poorly, and for basically telling us that Chris was ours for the taking without really giving us the facts. It's really hard for us, but we just decided that we couldn't take both Chris and his brother, with a huge possibility that they will both be taken away in the end. He is leaving us after Christmas and I'm still not sure how I'm going to cope. I'm trying to be positive though. It will be nice to have more time to myself and it will be great to have more one on one with Dustin. Dustin is getting so big. I love teaching him new things and watching him learning to be more independent. His latest hurdle is trying to zip up his coat by himself. He hasn't come close yet, but he never gives up! He absolutely loves Christmas and everything that goes along with it. He ooohs and aaaahs at all the lights, and anytime we go anywhere at night, he points to houses that have lights and says, "wow"! His other favorite thing is to point out all the stars. Anytime he sees a star on top of a Christmas tree or for a decoration he points to it and shouts, "a staw, a staw!" Very cute. Well, Merry Christmas to you all and I hope all of you have great holidays!

Moving...

So it looks like we really are actually going to move! This whole thing has been months in the process and I'm sure you all are sick of hearing about it, but we are very close to closing on our new house! (well, it's actually only half of a house as you can tell from the picture) It's small, but it's bigger and nicer than what we are in now. I've been packing all weekend and things are actually rolling along pretty nicely. We're supposed to be able to move this weekend and I'm hopeful we can paint and do somethings to the house before we move in. We don't technically need to be out of our apartment till Dec. 18th, but I would like to be moved out long before that. We have to set up for Christmas!! That's another thing, my in-laws have decided to have Christmas at our house this year, and I would love for my house to look beautiful when they come, the problem is that I'm not that great at decorating! So any of you Martha Stewarts out there...please help!

Potty Time!!!

Well, Dustin officially had his first "pee pee" in the potty!! It's funny because I haven't done anything to really teach him about going potty. He finally caught on that the thing he grabs all the time is called his pee pee, and then he started saying "pee pee" and pointing down at his diaper. So I thought maybe this was a sign he was ready to try the potty. I just stuck him on the throne after he grabbed himself and said "pee pee" one time, and he pushed and pushed, but nothing happened. The next time however, he went potty right away!! And he loves it. In fact, I'm starting to get tired of pulling him on and off the pot all day, but I guess this is just the beginning, right?!? Anyway, I was super excited because I was stressing about how to do the whole "potty" thing, but Dustin made it super easy! And it actually seems possible that there will come a time when I won't have to change a bazillion diapers a day!! I can't believe the things I blog about now that I'm a Mom. I swear I was cool at one point. But, I'm grateful I get to be home and be the one by son's side. The proud look on his face is way more rewarding than anything I've accomplished at work. I think if all us Mom's were paid for our jobs, potty training would definitely deserve a raise and a promotion!

Happy Halloween!!

These are the pictures from the ward Halloween party. Dustin was a clown, Christopher was a monkey, Tim was a mad scientist, and I wore Tigger ears because I could not think of anything cool to wear! This is the aftermath because we forgot to take our camera (of course!) but the boys looked cute. And if you couldn't tell, Tim even spiked his eyebrows to give him that crazy look! The pumpkin carving was for Family Home Evening and Christopher loved it! He kept on sticking the spoon in and out of the pumpkin and tried to pull seeds out. Dustin was intrigued for about 5 minutes and then lost interest. But our pumpkins turned out great! Happy Halloween everyone!

Finger Fun!!!!

Dustin and I had a blast yesterday making his first masterpiece of art. Yes, I tackled fingerpainting!! He was completely covered in paint (as you can see) and so was my floor (as you can also see) but we had so much fun!!! He was so cute. He kept on sticking his hands in the paint and rubbing it all over his chest and belly. It only lasted about 20 minutes before he lost interest and tried to touch everything else, but a good rainy day activity none the less. On another note, many of you know that Christopher has a half-brother that just got taken away from his family of 2 years (because of some problem with adoption regulations) and brought back to Oregon and DHS is trying to find a placement for the two of them together. They have essentially told us that if we are willing to take them both, we will be able to adopt them both, probably. If not, they will take Christopher away to another family where he can be with his brother. I am still in denial about the whole situation and am hoping that Jason (Christopher's brother) will be able to go back to the family he's been with his whole life and that we will be able to keep Christopher. I completely underestimated the effect that fostering kids would have on Dustin. He has gotten attached to Chris (as we all have) and I am really worried how Dustin would feel if he was taken away. Dustin calls Chris Sa-cee, and the first thing he does when he wakes up is check the crib to see if Christopher is awake. If he's still asleep, Dustin puts his finger up to his mouth and tells me "Shhhhh". I don't know what he would do if he wasn't there! I don't know, this is all so unexpected. I am trying really hard to pray and listen to the Spirit, but I don't know what to do. How can I turn away both of them and put them into the foster care system for who knows how long? On the other hand, how can I survive with 3 kids under 2?!?

Christopher's Crawling!

I meant to post this over a month ago, but Christopher started crawling! I put some toys out infront of him and he just did it! He learned so much faster than Dustin did. He was up off his stomach for about three weeks and then he could crawl. He's come so far since he first came to live with us. He learned almost exactly the same time he turned 9 months. He crawls and gets into everything all over the house and Dustin tries to ride on his back. They crack me up! No new news about the adoption. I guess they can't find the birth Mom to serve her papers. We're hopeful that things will go smoothly, but you never know with DHS! Christopher has become part of our family and the thought of the adoption not working out is so sad. The caseworker thinks that probably around Christmas time is when court stuff will be done and we will be able to start the adoption. Thanks to all of you who have been supportive and helpful since he came to live with us.