Back From Mommy Heaven...

I went to mommy heaven for a few weeks and it was so wonderful. In mommy heaven, I didn't have to cook, clean, or do yard work. My kids were entertained 24/7 by someone other than me, and I went shopping and went out to lunch or a movie whenever I wanted. I even had a girls weekend in Vegas with out my kids. Sound good? Well, all you need are the best in-laws in the world with a swimming pool, gigantic play room, a bazillion toys, daycare kids to play with, and great weather. Staying with them has been an absolute dream, and when I woke up, I was cramped inside my tiny house, cooking in my kitchen with 2 drawers, (literally) scrubbing my toilets, trimming my trees and staring at the cloudy sky whilst nearly being windblown into my neighbors yard while refereeing my kids. All. Day. Long. What a welcome! My brain couldn't even compute what happened. It said, "Wait a minute...2 days ago you were sunbathing poolside sippin a diet coke...and now...what the heck happened!?!" That's how I knew I went to mommy heaven. I came back to real life ;)

So many fun things happened in St. George I couldn't possibly write them all, but the most exciting, is that Dustin and Audrey learned how to swim! Dustin can now swim all by himself without floaties or anything! He loves to dive and pick up toys off the bottom of the pool and can swim the whole length of the pool. I was so proud of him and it made me feel so much better about being around the water with an active guy like him. Audrey had always been terrified of the water and has never ventured off the top step, but no more! Now she swims all over the place with her floaties on and isn't even afraid of the deep end! I wish I could take even an inkling of credit for all this, but it was really their Poppa who taught them and worked with them (I was sunbathing drinking diet coke, remember?).

Of course we had 4th of July festivities and we took the kids to the little carnival downtown and they had fun on all the kiddie rides that cost roughly four thousand dollars a ride. (Not kidding) (OK, I am kidding, but it was expensive for a "train" ride that was really a tractor pulling buckets) But the kids had fun, and we got to watch the fireworks from a far enough distance suitable for Dustin. He hates fireworks right now. He says they're too loud, and he's afraid they're going to explode on him. Is this a normal phase? I dunno. Anyway, we had fun. And we got to tour one of the oldest working chapels in the church. It was so neat inside, and it was built as an upsidown ship, without any nails or anything. It's over in Pine Valley, and I guess there's a replica in Salt Lake. Just thought I'd throw that in there so you guys don't think I was completely frivolous.

The only good thing about being back, is that we missed so many of you! But please call us, because I'm really tempted to go back to mommy heaven till my kids are 30.

Anyone Want to Buy Our House?!?!

Go to rmls.com and type in MLS#10048785 Pleeeeease help us sell our house!!!

Rain, Diets, and Fishing...

Ever since we got back from Florida it has done nothing but rain here in beautiful Oregon, so I booked another flight to sunny Las Vegas and will be staying with my mom and then with my in-laws in a place where I can actually go outside without a sweater. And I was so depressed about the rain, that I didn't even book a flight back home!!! Only because there weren't any good deals at the time though, plus we're going to be traveling a lot and I wasn't sure what airport we would be flying out from. Anybody looking for a cheap flight from Eugene, Medford, or Bend should go to allegiantair.com They have super cheap flights, but you have to know how to navigate their web page a little. Like, you don't have to pay for your seats if you click a little tiny button, and you are automatically charged for a shuttle that you have to zero out of. But other than that, you can fly to Vegas and back for less than $100 bucks a ticket. It's been so wonderful to be able to see our family for a reasonable price. It's been kinda funny when Tim tells people we're leaving though it goes something like this...
"Hey! Jen and the kids are going out of town so I'm planning a game night while she's gone."
"Really! Sweet! When is she coming back?"
"I dunno, she booked a one way flight..."
With an immediate and concerned look, "Oh....well....um....is everything...y'know...ok with you guys?"
Guys are so funny. We love our friends. I'm a little concerned that they think a one-way flight means something so dramatic though...don't we seem happy???

Anyway, Dustin's first year of preschool is over, only one more left till kindergarten!!! I'm glad we have another year of preschool because I will prolly freak out a little when I have to take him to big kid school. I've been so thankful for preschool though because it has guaranteed me a workout slot twice a week, but it's all over now. I got so desperate to lose weight that I finally gave in to an actual diet because losing weight has become impossible with just working out (another sign that I am losing all mercy of my youth and will be doing nothing but aging for the rest of my life). Tim decided to do it with me and I'm so thankful he did because it would have been impossible for me to do it without his support. But here's the totally unfair part. The first week, I lost 5lbs. Tim lost 12lbs. Twelve pounds!!!! We made it 8 days before we cheated, but we're still both trying together to lose weight. It's made me recognize some of my eating patterns and forced me to cook more healthy meals. Hopefully I can get back down to where I'd like to be...wish me luck!! Weight loss SUCKS.

We stayed at my dad's for memorial weekend and spent most the time fishing. The kids loved it. Dustin has been asking to go fishing for a long time and he stayed on the dock for 4 hours just casting his Spiderman pole. Audrey had a little princess pole she was happy with. I've never really liked fishing, but it was fun to watch the kids. No one caught anything but my dad, and I cleaned and gutted my first fish. I chopped it's head off and everything, and we cooked those little guys for dinner. A whole new experience for me!

Well, Oregon, we will be back when you decide to clean up your act and make this place a little less depressing.

Sincerely,
Jen

Our vacation to Disney....

WORLD. HA! It was not Disneyland this time. We flew across the entire country to satisfy our Disney addiction. I know, right! But we got a great deal for everything and kissed our tax return goodbye. Here are some of my favorite memories from our trip.

One of the best parts, was that these guys surprised us when we got off our first ride! Jake and Jen made us all believe they couldn't go, and as they came up to us I started screaming and jumping up and down (I can't deny it, they have it on tape). It was so great to hang out with them and made vacation that much better!

Our hotel. We stayed on the resort at Pop Century which has themed areas of pop culture throughout the decades. We stayed in the 80's buildings, and they had pac men all over the place, our pool was shaped like a computer (the kids are running across the keyboard) and they had all kinds of huge structures of movies and stuff from the 80's. It was so neat!


Kilimonjaro safari at Animal Kingdom. We saw so many animals right up close! Giraffes, elephants, lions, hippos, rhinos. You name it, Disney has it. It was like a 20 minute ride through a zoo. The kids also had so much fun at a playground called the Boneyard, which had billions of slides and tunnels and dinosaur bones.

Hollywood Studios was so fun for Audrey and I because we loooove all the shows, but Dustin was sick that day (he puked at the bus stop), so we came back early. But we still had fun, and Audrey told me after watching the Beauty and the Beast musical that, "When I grower bigger, I'm going to dance like Belle." (Dustin took this picture for Audrey)

Princess lunch at Akershus in Epcot. This was by far the best part of the trip. Amazing food, great service, an all you can eat buffet, and a professional portriat given to you at the end of the meal. Princesses came to our table throughout the meal and visited and took pictures with the kids. And I mean ALL the princesses. Ariel, Belle, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, the works. This was mostly for Audrey, who was shy and wouldn't smile for the camera, but was beaming the minute the princess left and we put down the camera (I've just come to accept that my kids will never both be smiling in a picture). But Dustin loved it too! He thought it was great that chicks came to our table and gave him hugs and kisses on the cheek (such a guy)!


We spent most of our time at Magic Kingdom and all the rides there were so fun with the kids. Dustin got wet on Splash Mountain, and he was mad. He said something like, "I'm just frustrated cause now I'm wet, and I will never ever have this ride again." Sooo funny. And then he was even madder because I was laughing. But he LOVED Big Thunder Mountain, and would have ridden that all day had we let him. Audrey was easy to please and loved pretty much everything she could go on, and she got to go on her first roller coaster ride in toon town. She laughed the whole time. She wasn't scared at all, and it was so cute to watch her laugh.
Soarin and Test Track at Epcot. Dustin's 2 favorite rides. Audrey loved the Nemo ride, and her and I had so much fun wandering around the different tanks and seeing the animals. We watched the most amazing fireworks show, (except for Tim and Dustin because Dustin was deathly afraid of fireworks this time) and rode Spaceship Earth (the giant ball) about 3,236 times because the kids wanted to go on it over and over! I think we need a cruise next. Sigh, I wish I could live on vacation.

Cabin Fever

Let's see...I've had sick kids for a while, which has kept me home bound. I go kinda crazy when I can't go anywhere and the kids are sick and whiny. I pretty much stare at the clock all day and the second Tim walks in the door it's, "Can I please go to the gym. Right. Now?" Poor guy. No, "Hi honey, how was your day?" And the house is spotless and dinner is made. All the opposite, I'm afraid. I assume that whatever happened in his day could not be nearly as bad as taking care of sick kids and can't wait to show him what he missed all day by running out the door. Am I terrible, or what!?!? I should be so grateful that it's me who comforts and holds my kids while they're hurting and be glad for the down time we get to spend at home when someone is sick. Instead, if Tim so much as whispers a complaint about work, it's, "Oh yeah...you wanna know what happened in this house!!" Followed by the many messes and craziness that went on that day. At least I recognize it's unfair, right? And it's not like I'm like this ALL the time. I just make it really apparent when the kids are sick. But seriously, just between you and me, is there any job out there more difficult, more exhausting, more my-head-might-explode-if-I-have-to-keep-my-patience-one-more-second, than motherhood??? I can't even count how many battles I have lost to a 4-yr-old and a 2-yr-old. And I have upwards of 20 years on them!!! On the opposite end though, the amount of times they have made me laugh, made me proud, or that I have felt their love far surpasses anything I vent about. And I guess the daddy's are allowed to complain too. Sometimes ;)

The Best Spring Break Ever!

Our spring break was so wonderful! The most important thing that happened, was that my two favorite boys in the world had a birthday. My little boy turned 4, and my handsome hubs is in the last year of his 20's. I can't believe it! We had a pirate themed birthday, and Tim made an amazing cake. My Mom and Grandma were here, and we had Uncle Jake and Aunt Jen here for the week. And Cara made a surprise visit so Dustin had his birthday buddy Davin! We went to Chuck E. Cheese, Red Robin, and had our party at the bowling alley. And then, the grown-ups went to see a movie! It turned out to be a pretty good birthday.

It was so fun to have Jake and Jen here! Jake is Tim's younger brother, and he also married a Jen, so there's Tim's Jen and Jake's Jen every time we're together. Anyway, they are such a fun couple! Tim took some time off and we had an amazing week. We went to the coast for the most beautiful, sunny, non-windy day ever, and saw the lighthouse and played in the tide pools. We went to the aquarium, ate at Mo's, and had an all around great day. Jen and I got to go shopping, and see some chick flicks and she did everybody's hair (it's so great to have her as a hair-dresser). We went to Portland for a night and went to Ikea, VooDoo Doughnuts (a long awaited venture for Tim), Jen and I went to a behind the scenes tour of the Pittock Mansion, and played at OMSI. The weather was great up there and we all had fun. I've never been to OMSI before, but it was great for families with kids. Audrey had the most fun in the water exhibits, and Dustin had the most fun in the ball exhibits. It was really interactive and they had so many cool things to do. We finished the trip off with a great dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory. There was this amazing balloon guy who was going from table to table and when he got to ours, he made Dustin a Spiderman, and Audrey an Ariel mermaid...out of balloons! WAY beyond anything in my repertoire.

This was Jake and Jen's first visit and I hope they come back soon! Like, next week! Anyway, most of you know that our little foster baby has moved on to another home. There were just too many things that didn't feel right about his case, so we went back to short-term care. I was so devastated to drop him off, and I cried and cried after I left, but I feel a lot better now. I can finally sleep, and shower, and pay more attention to my kids. I don't feel like a zombie anymore! I just have to believe that he will be ok, and know that I did all that I could for him while he was with us. The kids still ask about him, but I think they are happier now that I'm happier.

Well, it's back to real life now. Vacation is over. School is back on. Work-out schedule is back on. I did get Primary help for Dustin. Last week was sooooo much better. Here's hoping everyone has a great Easter! Good Luck! (That's what I tell all Mom's. It's my way of saying, "Whatever you're doing...I hope you manage! ;)

Primary Blues

This post is a plea for help. Remember when I posted how great Dustin was doing in primary? How he just transitioned without a hitch and everything was great and cute? Yeah, that was for 3 weeks. Week 4 was a total and complete meltdown, and it's been that way ever since. Now it's wailing and screaming that he doesn't like Primary and that he's not going to church and that he wants to go back to nursery. Here are a list of reasons that Dustin has given me as to why he doesn't want to go to Primary.

"Dere aren't any no toys"
"We don't even get any snacks"
"It's toooo long"
"I can't sit into dat chair for such a long time"
"I'm bored of dis"
"I can't even play with any friends"
"I'M NOT GOING!"
"I. DON'T. LIKE. CHURCH!"

I don't even know what to tell him! I feel like he's got some valid reasons. It's not reasonable to expect a 3-year-old to sit still and pay attention for 3 hours...is it? Is mine the only kid who can't handle Primary? I've gone and sat in Primary with him and I understand why he gets bored! Popcorn Popping is not enough to get Dustin wiggles out! I'm totally out of ideas. And me forcing him to go, just makes him resent me, and hate it even more! PLEASE HELP!

I'm Starting to Feel Like a Human Again...

This was our little trip to the coast and Dustin's first kite flying experience. It was a great day. and the first pic is our little tiny baby. I just thought I should document the good stuff too!

Ok, so having 3 kids has left me almost no time to blog, (or shower, put on makeup, cook, or do pretty much anything that doesn't involve caring for kids!) but, my zombie-like behavior is down to merely laying on the couch all afternoon. And I still haven't gotten enough sleep to do very much cooking. But at least I'm not frothing at the mouth and mumbling incoherently. Well, we still have the foster baby (as you might have guessed). We are only on this list for short-term placement, but it's becoming obvious that this little guy is not going to be short term. So we are trying to decide what will be best for our family. If we keep him, there is a chance that he will be adoptable. There also is a chance that he will not, and we will raise him and be very attached to him, and then have to give him to another family.

I don't know what to do. I feel like it could go either way. I had a really spiritual experience when we first got Audrey, and I knew she was meant to be with us. But I haven't felt that same thing so far. There's moments when I'm sure he's meant to be with us, and other times, I feel...nothing. I don't feel like I've gotten an answer. And having a newborn has been really hard. There is never a time to get caught up on sleep or anything else when you have other kids (who aren't in school). For a while I felt like I had some amazing mothering skills, and I could give everyone the attention they need, and still do my calling and all my other commitments. But that was the honeymoon. And the honeymoon is over. Now I feel tired all the time, I yell at my kids because I'm tired all the time, and our schedule is way too full. I haven't been able to go to the gym much, and that makes a huge difference in my level of grouchiness. I'm in survival mode right now.

My girlfriend asked me the other day why I do it. Well, it is hard to care and love kids that aren't your own. And yet, I honestly feel like this is a calling from Heavenly Father. Not necessarily this baby in particular, but caring for kids who don't have Mom's or Dad's or even a home to live in, or who have come from abusive situations is the gospel at it's most basic. Feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, helping the sick. I really feel like their little spirits appreciate what we do for them, no matter what the outcome ends up being. The foster system isn't perfect, but these kids really are everybody's children, and if I don't care for this little guy...who will? It is so hard to say no, when we have been given so much, and these kids have nothing. Although, there have been many times I have had to say no. I just don't know if this is one of those times.

Anyway, I appreciate all your love and prayers and support. And thanks for reading my rambling! And just in case my husband reads this, I have to give him some credit because he has been amazing since we got this little guy (not that he wasn't amazing before). But he has totally stepped it up. He gets up for feedings and diaper changes, scrubs toilets, makes meals, and most importantly, he puts up with me. I love you.

And thanks to all our wonderful friends. If any of you feel any inspiration for me...lemme know!

A compliment...

I got a compliment today. It was exactly what I needed. Thank goodness for the tender mercies of the Lord. Last week we got a newborn baby boy from the hospital to foster. I was a little worried about how the kids would react to a baby, but they have been the best team since we got him. Dustin hold hims and talks about how much he loves babies. "I just loooove babies," he coos. "Boy babies, girl babies...all kinds of babies!" And Audrey is a little mommy and worries about him constantly. So far, he has been an adorable little baby, and sleeps and eats well. But he is a newborn, (10 days old today) and a newborn = no sleep. If I ever said I was exhausted before, I lied. A 3-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn is a whole new level of zombie-like behavior I didn't even know I was capable of. The first weekend we had him, my best friend was in town from Phoenix for a funeral, and I got to stay up late for girls nights, go to movies, and help a little with the funeral. Thank goodness she was here, because she stayed up with me when the baby had his days and nights mixed up, and helped me with the kiddos. But, it also meant I was on the go non-stop for 4 days, and up all night. I got so tired I got myself sick. Then Audrey got sick, then the baby got sick, but thankfully, Dustin and Tim have been just fine!

This all brings me to today, and the compliment that made my day. After finding out this morning that the baby has an ear infection, I picked up Dustin from his Valentine party at pre-school and drove to Wal-mart to pick up the prescription. I was feeling inadequate, and sick, and wondering if I was going to get a shower today. And then Dustin spilled his red berry smoothie all over the back seat (I was so far into zombie mode that I didn't even care). I pulled into the parking lot and unloaded everyone and started walking to the front. Dustin took Audrey's hand to cross the road, and then grabbed onto my hand. They were chatting to me about puddles and Valentines. When we got to the front, a sweet little old lady came up to me and said, "You must be a patient and loving mother to have such good and beautiful children."
...
...

I was so shocked and grateful. Not many people compliment mothering. It's usually the opposite. Granted, she caught me at a good moment, and I definitely am not patient and loving all the time. But it restored faith in myself. I can do this. I may not be doing everything right, but at least I'm doing some things right ;) And every once in a great while...it shows.