I am so Grateful For YOU!!!

Yes, I mean YOU! I was struggling so badly last week, and I can't even tell you how many wonderful people came into my life to help. I'm so sorry if I forgot you, but please know I love and appreciate you.

Thank you Kristin for telling me I'm ok and you feel the same way too, AND for the amazing photo shoot, AND for making me cupcakes. I can't even tell you how much that meant to me. Like I said, you're my new best friend. Sorry, you're stuck with me!

Thank you LeaAnne and Rune for making everything possible so I could go to Time Out for Women. Thanks for arranging everything, thanks for my ticket, thanks for watching my kids, thanks for driving, and thanks for being my friend. What a blessing you guys are in our lives. I owe you. Big Time. Thanks to all the wonderful gals I met and got to see again and to all the people who put up with me. Really.

Thanks to my Dad and Robin for taking care of our kids for the night. I cannot say how badly Tim and I needed a night away. And I know it probably wasn't easy. And you're probably pretty tired. But I appreciate it.

Thanks to Jaime and Sara for being there for me when I was at the end of my rope. You guys are great friends. Sara, you are the best running partner, EVER. Thanks so much for checking on me when Tim was gone...on your birthday...you're the best. Jaime, thank you for being so willing to help me every time I need you.

Thanks Paige for being the best visiting teacher on the planet. I honestly mean it. The times you have brought me meals, or watched my kids have been SO NEEDED.

And to Tim, thank you for EVERYTHING! I can't possibly write it all down. Happy Anniversary! I love you.

I know there's others I'm not writing about and please know that I'm grateful. My hands have felt SO FULL lately and I've been feeling so inadequate. It's been especially hard because I like to be the one to help other people. And it's really hard to admit that I sometimes need help. Holy snikies, do I need help. And there you all have been. THANK GOODNESS FOR YOU!!!

Pediatricians Are the Devil

Ok, to be fair, it is not only the pediatrician that I am likening to the devil. It is the whole doctors office experience. Yes, I am grateful for healthcare, yada, yada, yada. Hear me out, and you'll understand why I'm complaining. I called to get an appointment for the baby who hurt his arm, (Because Audrey tried to drag him across the floor. The Mother of the Year Award is not in my future) anyway, they said, "Yes, we have an opening at 2:00, (It was 1:40) can you come in right away?" I said I would do my best. We were at Toys R Us trying to exchange an r/c helicopter that broke the very first time Dustin tried it. So I had to drag my kids away from the toys and get in line and when we get to the front, Audrey announces that she has to go potty, "Really, realllllyyy baaaad." I leave the toy at the front, take 3 kids to the potty, come back and get in line AGAIN to exchange our toy. Finally it's our turn, but the nice 18-year-old isn't competent enough to do an exchange. I don't have time to wait because it's now 5 min to 2:00, so I bag the whole thing, and drag Dustin out screaming that he wants his helicopter.

We get to the doctors office just a couple of minutes late. We wait for about 20 minutes before being called back to wait in our room. Then we wait for an HOUR AND 30 MINUTES inside a tiny room with no toys, no snacks, no ANYTHING, to see the doctor. Couldn't they have let me know I didn't have to rush over because they were an HOUR behind schedule? The kids were going nuts. Climbing all over everything, yelling, fighting, the baby is screaming because it's way past nap time, it feels like it's 200 degrees in this room and I am seriously hoping the Apocalypse will start happening so my suffering might end.

Mercifully, the assistant came in and gave us crayons and pedialite popsicles. Thank goodness for her, because she was the only reason I didn't start threatening people's lives. She also tried to discipline my kids by telling them to stop talking while she's trying to talk, or telling them they can't climb on this or that. I was so far out of my right mind that I didn't have the ability to keep my kids from jumping off things, but I was kinda bothered she felt like I was so incapable that she needed to step in. I was a tiny bit grateful, because I knew she was trying to help, but still. Anyway, she took pity on me, and kept on telling me how full my hands are. I've never quite understood the, "Wow, you sure have got your hands full," expression. Is it just pity? Are they saying it to be nice? Or is it more like, "Wow, maybe you should have found a more reliable form of birth control.." Because that's exactly how I felt. When the doctor finally came in, he was completely overwhelmed. The kids attacked him, the baby was crying, he couldn't finish his sentences. He kept mentioning things like, "injuries are common in large families" or "you don't work, right?" and the infamous "you've got your hands full." I was sure at any moment he was going to ask me to speak to a group of teenagers about abstinence and the consequences of sex. I just wanted to stand up on the chair and scream, "We've been in this room for an hour and a half waiting for YOU, the pediatrician (who specializes in kids), and you can't function in here for 5 minutes!!!! I only have ONE biological child in this room, the other I rescued from the foster care system, and the other I am caring for out of the goodness of my heart because his mom is a meth addict!!! If you can do better, wait here, and I'll be back in an HOUR AND A HALF."

Sigh, I thought about playing the foster parent card, but I hate the stigma that goes with the "Foster Parent" title. Plus I love that no one ever guesses we have foster kids or adopted kids. Anyway, the baby was fine. Nothing broken. Except my pride. So today, I've had Lucky Charms and McDonalds because I'm depressed and feeling like a completely inadequate mother and can't think of any reason to try and look decent. If you're going to the doctors office, beware, you may find the devil instead, and he most certainly will be wearing a stethoscope.