Monday, March 29, 2010

The Best Spring Break Ever!

Our spring break was so wonderful! The most important thing that happened, was that my two favorite boys in the world had a birthday. My little boy turned 4, and my handsome hubs is in the last year of his 20's. I can't believe it! We had a pirate themed birthday, and Tim made an amazing cake. My Mom and Grandma were here, and we had Uncle Jake and Aunt Jen here for the week. And Cara made a surprise visit so Dustin had his birthday buddy Davin! We went to Chuck E. Cheese, Red Robin, and had our party at the bowling alley. And then, the grown-ups went to see a movie! It turned out to be a pretty good birthday.

It was so fun to have Jake and Jen here! Jake is Tim's younger brother, and he also married a Jen, so there's Tim's Jen and Jake's Jen every time we're together. Anyway, they are such a fun couple! Tim took some time off and we had an amazing week. We went to the coast for the most beautiful, sunny, non-windy day ever, and saw the lighthouse and played in the tide pools. We went to the aquarium, ate at Mo's, and had an all around great day. Jen and I got to go shopping, and see some chick flicks and she did everybody's hair (it's so great to have her as a hair-dresser). We went to Portland for a night and went to Ikea, VooDoo Doughnuts (a long awaited venture for Tim), Jen and I went to a behind the scenes tour of the Pittock Mansion, and played at OMSI. The weather was great up there and we all had fun. I've never been to OMSI before, but it was great for families with kids. Audrey had the most fun in the water exhibits, and Dustin had the most fun in the ball exhibits. It was really interactive and they had so many cool things to do. We finished the trip off with a great dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory. There was this amazing balloon guy who was going from table to table and when he got to ours, he made Dustin a Spiderman, and Audrey an Ariel mermaid...out of balloons! WAY beyond anything in my repertoire.

This was Jake and Jen's first visit and I hope they come back soon! Like, next week! Anyway, most of you know that our little foster baby has moved on to another home. There were just too many things that didn't feel right about his case, so we went back to short-term care. I was so devastated to drop him off, and I cried and cried after I left, but I feel a lot better now. I can finally sleep, and shower, and pay more attention to my kids. I don't feel like a zombie anymore! I just have to believe that he will be ok, and know that I did all that I could for him while he was with us. The kids still ask about him, but I think they are happier now that I'm happier.

Well, it's back to real life now. Vacation is over. School is back on. Work-out schedule is back on. I did get Primary help for Dustin. Last week was sooooo much better. Here's hoping everyone has a great Easter! Good Luck! (That's what I tell all Mom's. It's my way of saying, "Whatever you're doing...I hope you manage! ;)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Primary Blues

This post is a plea for help. Remember when I posted how great Dustin was doing in primary? How he just transitioned without a hitch and everything was great and cute? Yeah, that was for 3 weeks. Week 4 was a total and complete meltdown, and it's been that way ever since. Now it's wailing and screaming that he doesn't like Primary and that he's not going to church and that he wants to go back to nursery. Here are a list of reasons that Dustin has given me as to why he doesn't want to go to Primary.

"Dere aren't any no toys"
"We don't even get any snacks"
"It's toooo long"
"I can't sit into dat chair for such a long time"
"I'm bored of dis"
"I can't even play with any friends"

I don't even know what to tell him! I feel like he's got some valid reasons. It's not reasonable to expect a 3-year-old to sit still and pay attention for 3 it? Is mine the only kid who can't handle Primary? I've gone and sat in Primary with him and I understand why he gets bored! Popcorn Popping is not enough to get Dustin wiggles out! I'm totally out of ideas. And me forcing him to go, just makes him resent me, and hate it even more! PLEASE HELP!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I'm Starting to Feel Like a Human Again...

This was our little trip to the coast and Dustin's first kite flying experience. It was a great day. and the first pic is our little tiny baby. I just thought I should document the good stuff too!

Ok, so having 3 kids has left me almost no time to blog, (or shower, put on makeup, cook, or do pretty much anything that doesn't involve caring for kids!) but, my zombie-like behavior is down to merely laying on the couch all afternoon. And I still haven't gotten enough sleep to do very much cooking. But at least I'm not frothing at the mouth and mumbling incoherently. Well, we still have the foster baby (as you might have guessed). We are only on this list for short-term placement, but it's becoming obvious that this little guy is not going to be short term. So we are trying to decide what will be best for our family. If we keep him, there is a chance that he will be adoptable. There also is a chance that he will not, and we will raise him and be very attached to him, and then have to give him to another family.

I don't know what to do. I feel like it could go either way. I had a really spiritual experience when we first got Audrey, and I knew she was meant to be with us. But I haven't felt that same thing so far. There's moments when I'm sure he's meant to be with us, and other times, I feel...nothing. I don't feel like I've gotten an answer. And having a newborn has been really hard. There is never a time to get caught up on sleep or anything else when you have other kids (who aren't in school). For a while I felt like I had some amazing mothering skills, and I could give everyone the attention they need, and still do my calling and all my other commitments. But that was the honeymoon. And the honeymoon is over. Now I feel tired all the time, I yell at my kids because I'm tired all the time, and our schedule is way too full. I haven't been able to go to the gym much, and that makes a huge difference in my level of grouchiness. I'm in survival mode right now.

My girlfriend asked me the other day why I do it. Well, it is hard to care and love kids that aren't your own. And yet, I honestly feel like this is a calling from Heavenly Father. Not necessarily this baby in particular, but caring for kids who don't have Mom's or Dad's or even a home to live in, or who have come from abusive situations is the gospel at it's most basic. Feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, helping the sick. I really feel like their little spirits appreciate what we do for them, no matter what the outcome ends up being. The foster system isn't perfect, but these kids really are everybody's children, and if I don't care for this little guy...who will? It is so hard to say no, when we have been given so much, and these kids have nothing. Although, there have been many times I have had to say no. I just don't know if this is one of those times.

Anyway, I appreciate all your love and prayers and support. And thanks for reading my rambling! And just in case my husband reads this, I have to give him some credit because he has been amazing since we got this little guy (not that he wasn't amazing before). But he has totally stepped it up. He gets up for feedings and diaper changes, scrubs toilets, makes meals, and most importantly, he puts up with me. I love you.

And thanks to all our wonderful friends. If any of you feel any inspiration for me...lemme know!