We get to the doctors office just a couple of minutes late. We wait for about 20 minutes before being called back to wait in our room. Then we wait for an HOUR AND 30 MINUTES inside a tiny room with no toys, no snacks, no ANYTHING, to see the doctor. Couldn't they have let me know I didn't have to rush over because they were an HOUR behind schedule? The kids were going nuts. Climbing all over everything, yelling, fighting, the baby is screaming because it's way past nap time, it feels like it's 200 degrees in this room and I am seriously hoping the Apocalypse will start happening so my suffering might end.
Mercifully, the assistant came in and gave us crayons and pedialite popsicles. Thank goodness for her, because she was the only reason I didn't start threatening people's lives. She also tried to discipline my kids by telling them to stop talking while she's trying to talk, or telling them they can't climb on this or that. I was so far out of my right mind that I didn't have the ability to keep my kids from jumping off things, but I was kinda bothered she felt like I was so incapable that she needed to step in. I was a tiny bit grateful, because I knew she was trying to help, but still. Anyway, she took pity on me, and kept on telling me how full my hands are. I've never quite understood the, "Wow, you sure have got your hands full," expression. Is it just pity? Are they saying it to be nice? Or is it more like, "Wow, maybe you should have found a more reliable form of birth control.." Because that's exactly how I felt. When the doctor finally came in, he was completely overwhelmed. The kids attacked him, the baby was crying, he couldn't finish his sentences. He kept mentioning things like, "injuries are common in large families" or "you don't work, right?" and the infamous "you've got your hands full." I was sure at any moment he was going to ask me to speak to a group of teenagers about abstinence and the consequences of sex. I just wanted to stand up on the chair and scream, "We've been in this room for an hour and a half waiting for YOU, the pediatrician (who specializes in kids), and you can't function in here for 5 minutes!!!! I only have ONE biological child in this room, the other I rescued from the foster care system, and the other I am caring for out of the goodness of my heart because his mom is a meth addict!!! If you can do better, wait here, and I'll be back in an HOUR AND A HALF."
Sigh, I thought about playing the foster parent card, but I hate the stigma that goes with the "Foster Parent" title. Plus I love that no one ever guesses we have foster kids or adopted kids. Anyway, the baby was fine. Nothing broken. Except my pride. So today, I've had Lucky Charms and McDonalds because I'm depressed and feeling like a completely inadequate mother and can't think of any reason to try and look decent. If you're going to the doctors office, beware, you may find the devil instead, and he most certainly will be wearing a stethoscope.