Mission Complete.....sort of...

We finally moved!!! Which is why my blog has been neglected for so long. We just finished cleaning our old apartment today and only have 3 more boxes to unpack before we are officially moved in. The past couple of weeks have been a blur consisting mostly of packing, unpacking, and cleaning, but there have been some events that I wanted to write about. The first is that Christopher turned 1 just over two weeks ago! I can't believe he's one already. The past six months have gone by so fast. (I will post pictures of the party as soon as I find the cords for the camera!) He ate a ton of cake and loved it! It was super cute. It's bittersweet writing about it because we also just found out that we will not be adopting the little guy after all. It was decided that he and his half-brother will be placed in another foster home together until they decide where they are going to go permanently. Christophers aunt and uncle who moved here from Alaska are hoping to adopt them both, but DHS isn't giving them any guarantees. I find myself really angry at the system for handling the case so poorly, and for basically telling us that Chris was ours for the taking without really giving us the facts. It's really hard for us, but we just decided that we couldn't take both Chris and his brother, with a huge possibility that they will both be taken away in the end. He is leaving us after Christmas and I'm still not sure how I'm going to cope. I'm trying to be positive though. It will be nice to have more time to myself and it will be great to have more one on one with Dustin. Dustin is getting so big. I love teaching him new things and watching him learning to be more independent. His latest hurdle is trying to zip up his coat by himself. He hasn't come close yet, but he never gives up! He absolutely loves Christmas and everything that goes along with it. He ooohs and aaaahs at all the lights, and anytime we go anywhere at night, he points to houses that have lights and says, "wow"! His other favorite thing is to point out all the stars. Anytime he sees a star on top of a Christmas tree or for a decoration he points to it and shouts, "a staw, a staw!" Very cute. Well, Merry Christmas to you all and I hope all of you have great holidays!

Moving...

So it looks like we really are actually going to move! This whole thing has been months in the process and I'm sure you all are sick of hearing about it, but we are very close to closing on our new house! (well, it's actually only half of a house as you can tell from the picture) It's small, but it's bigger and nicer than what we are in now. I've been packing all weekend and things are actually rolling along pretty nicely. We're supposed to be able to move this weekend and I'm hopeful we can paint and do somethings to the house before we move in. We don't technically need to be out of our apartment till Dec. 18th, but I would like to be moved out long before that. We have to set up for Christmas!! That's another thing, my in-laws have decided to have Christmas at our house this year, and I would love for my house to look beautiful when they come, the problem is that I'm not that great at decorating! So any of you Martha Stewarts out there...please help!

Potty Time!!!

Well, Dustin officially had his first "pee pee" in the potty!! It's funny because I haven't done anything to really teach him about going potty. He finally caught on that the thing he grabs all the time is called his pee pee, and then he started saying "pee pee" and pointing down at his diaper. So I thought maybe this was a sign he was ready to try the potty. I just stuck him on the throne after he grabbed himself and said "pee pee" one time, and he pushed and pushed, but nothing happened. The next time however, he went potty right away!! And he loves it. In fact, I'm starting to get tired of pulling him on and off the pot all day, but I guess this is just the beginning, right?!? Anyway, I was super excited because I was stressing about how to do the whole "potty" thing, but Dustin made it super easy! And it actually seems possible that there will come a time when I won't have to change a bazillion diapers a day!! I can't believe the things I blog about now that I'm a Mom. I swear I was cool at one point. But, I'm grateful I get to be home and be the one by son's side. The proud look on his face is way more rewarding than anything I've accomplished at work. I think if all us Mom's were paid for our jobs, potty training would definitely deserve a raise and a promotion!

Happy Halloween!!

These are the pictures from the ward Halloween party. Dustin was a clown, Christopher was a monkey, Tim was a mad scientist, and I wore Tigger ears because I could not think of anything cool to wear! This is the aftermath because we forgot to take our camera (of course!) but the boys looked cute. And if you couldn't tell, Tim even spiked his eyebrows to give him that crazy look! The pumpkin carving was for Family Home Evening and Christopher loved it! He kept on sticking the spoon in and out of the pumpkin and tried to pull seeds out. Dustin was intrigued for about 5 minutes and then lost interest. But our pumpkins turned out great! Happy Halloween everyone!

Finger Fun!!!!

Dustin and I had a blast yesterday making his first masterpiece of art. Yes, I tackled fingerpainting!! He was completely covered in paint (as you can see) and so was my floor (as you can also see) but we had so much fun!!! He was so cute. He kept on sticking his hands in the paint and rubbing it all over his chest and belly. It only lasted about 20 minutes before he lost interest and tried to touch everything else, but a good rainy day activity none the less. On another note, many of you know that Christopher has a half-brother that just got taken away from his family of 2 years (because of some problem with adoption regulations) and brought back to Oregon and DHS is trying to find a placement for the two of them together. They have essentially told us that if we are willing to take them both, we will be able to adopt them both, probably. If not, they will take Christopher away to another family where he can be with his brother. I am still in denial about the whole situation and am hoping that Jason (Christopher's brother) will be able to go back to the family he's been with his whole life and that we will be able to keep Christopher. I completely underestimated the effect that fostering kids would have on Dustin. He has gotten attached to Chris (as we all have) and I am really worried how Dustin would feel if he was taken away. Dustin calls Chris Sa-cee, and the first thing he does when he wakes up is check the crib to see if Christopher is awake. If he's still asleep, Dustin puts his finger up to his mouth and tells me "Shhhhh". I don't know what he would do if he wasn't there! I don't know, this is all so unexpected. I am trying really hard to pray and listen to the Spirit, but I don't know what to do. How can I turn away both of them and put them into the foster care system for who knows how long? On the other hand, how can I survive with 3 kids under 2?!?

Christopher's Crawling!

I meant to post this over a month ago, but Christopher started crawling! I put some toys out infront of him and he just did it! He learned so much faster than Dustin did. He was up off his stomach for about three weeks and then he could crawl. He's come so far since he first came to live with us. He learned almost exactly the same time he turned 9 months. He crawls and gets into everything all over the house and Dustin tries to ride on his back. They crack me up! No new news about the adoption. I guess they can't find the birth Mom to serve her papers. We're hopeful that things will go smoothly, but you never know with DHS! Christopher has become part of our family and the thought of the adoption not working out is so sad. The caseworker thinks that probably around Christmas time is when court stuff will be done and we will be able to start the adoption. Thanks to all of you who have been supportive and helpful since he came to live with us.

Our Awesome Vacation

For those of you who don't know, we just went to California for 9 days and it was awesome! Well, mostly. We drove, and on the way down it was super hot outside, so naturally it was a perfect time for the A/C in the van to stop working. So we drove through the deserts of California with all the windows down and naked babies in the back! When we finally got there we stayed in an awesome Condo with Tim's parents (they own a time share) and Tim and I got to go to Universal together the very next day while Tim's parents watched the kids! Woo Hoo! Besides a slight mix-up with our tickets, we had a blast. Unfortunately we forgot the camera that day so no pics of that. The next day, we went to Sea World in San Diego with everybody. It was so fun! The babies were pretty good, they even sat through most of the shows! I loved it. The weather was awesome, I got to see Shamu, and Tim's parents helped take care of the kids so I got a break! The next day was Disneyland, which was fun except that first thing in the morning I realized Chris had thrush so we drove all over Anaheim looking for medicine. But we had a great time after we got that taken care of. We went to the Zoo the next day in San Diego. It was cool, not many of the animals were out, and Christopher had a puking fiasco all over the stroller, but the Zoo is huge and worth a look if you've never seen it before. And the last two days were at Disneyland. We had a blast, but on the very last day Dustin had a fever and we spent the whole morning in urgent care to find out he had an ear infection. But we got medicine and he was a trooper the whole day. Despite getting sick, the kids were so good the whole time. They were even really good in the car, Dustin actually slept which is atypical, neither of them screamed or got scared on any of the rides, Tim's parents were a huge help, and the weather was sunny even though the forecast called for rain! All in all it was a blast and a great break from the everyday.

This is me and Dustin at the Star Fish exhibit. He loved picking them up and tossing them back in. He thought it was a riot!

Chris and I at Dolphin Cove. A few dolphins swam by really close, but not close enough to touch, darn it!
I had to throw in a picture of the infamous Shamu!
Dustin at the petting zoo at the San Diego Zoo. He wasn't really into the animals. He mostly just stared!

All of us after riding Winnie the Pooh, which I think was the kids' favorite ride!

Of course we had to go on Dumbo!

This was how we had the kids loaded up the whole time. Tons of stuff in the stroller with me pushing and Tim looking at the map!

The boys and I clownin around in Toon Town.

Dustin surfin with Tims Dad at California Adventure.
The boys on Tom Sawyer Island at the end of the treasure trail.
Grandma and Grandpa bought the boys Mickey Ears with their names on the back. So Cute!

Me and Mrs. Incredible, how fitting!

The Drama Continues...

So as an update from my second to last post, I would like you all to know that my Mom was engaged to my Dad for a week, and they were looking at property together to build a house, she told me how great she felt about the decision she made, yada yada yada, she was so happy to have the family together, yada yada yada, and then the very next weekend, she stood my Dad up for dinner and went out with the other guy that had proposed to her and spent the night at his house. She's stayed there ever since. Of course my Dad was completely heartbroken, and is sad and angry and confused. I've kinda been his support since all this happened, so he's been talking to me alot and over at my house crying all the time. Which is really hard for me because I just went through this same thing with my Mom last year. Except my Mom was the one who was heartbroken and rejected. She didn't even tell anyone that she had completely ditched my Dad and pretended like everything was totally normal the next day. I've blown up on her a couple of times, but she truly doesn't care how she is making anyone feel by her actions. Her famous line is that "it's her life, and she has to do whatever makes her happy and everyone else is going to have to deal with it." I just can't believe she's living with a guy she hardly knows, after she was just living with my Dad a few days ago. And she totally broke all of our hearts. She has been such a liar. Everything that she ever said mattered to her has turned out not to matter to her at all. It only matters when it's convenient to her. Things like her family, the church, standards, all have done a complete 180. She hasn't talked to any of the kids since she moved back in with the other guy. She even attacked me after I snatched her cell phone and threatened to call her boyfriend (stupid of me, I know, it was an empty threat, but she still went crazy and gave me a bruise across my arm!) And my biggest fear is that I am in some ways, just like my Mom. I see similarities between her selfishness and mine. I would like to think that I would never do what my Mom has done, but she has made me question myself to the point of wondering if I even deserve to be in a marriage and a family. I feel totally inadequate. My Mom was not very loving till the divorce and then she changed into this really great person. That gave me so much hope because I thought I had a chance to recover from the damage my Mom had done earlier and that meant I also had the ability to be a loving person. But my Mom never really did change. She needed my Dad because she didn't want to be alone, so she pretended to change, and she pretended to be loving to me because she needed me to support her after the divorce. But now that she's found someone else who's convenient for her, she drops all of us like hot cakes because she doesn't need us. I'm not defending my Dad, he was the one who walked out in the first place, even though my Mom begged him not to. But I understand now why my Dad didn't believe that my Mom had changed. He tried to tell me she was fake and I told him she really was trying and that he was awful for not giving her a chance and seeing someone else. Sigh, anyone who has advice for dealing with psycho parents and ways to overcome fear of becoming like them please post a comment. I'm desperate!

Just some pics...

I realized I haven't posted many pictures. Here are some of my recent favorites of my little guy. Most of these are from when we were on vacation in St. George. Super fun trip!

My Crazy Family...

I have to blog about the crazy weekend I had. And not crazy in a fun sense. Crazy as in my life has become a real-life soap opera. This is a picture of my fam right about the time my parents started having big-time problems. This was taken about 4 years ago. (From L to R - my Grandma, my sister Rachel, my brother Tyson, Mom, Dad, me and Tim) For those of you who don't know, my parents have been divorced for over a year now. And over the weekend, I found out my Mom was proposed to by a guy I've never met. I guess they went on 3 dates, this guy told my Mom he wanted to marry her, and my Mom pretty much said yes. She dropped off the face of the earth 2 weeks ago (so I thought) but I guess she had just been spending all her time with this new guy and she pretty much moved into his house after like a week of them meeting each other. Isn't that crazy?!? But the story gets so much better. My Dad (who has had a ton of chances to get back together with my Mom because she never could let him go and continued to want to be with him even though he was doing all kinds of mean things) suddenly has a change of heart after hearing that my Mom is getting married and decides he can't live without my Mom and admits he made all kinds of mistakes. Which is huge for my Dad. Anyway, he keeps on tracking my Mom down, trying to get her away from the new guy, he succeeds, they talk a few times, and he asks her not to marry the other guy and to marry him instead! I know! My Mom had 2 marriage proposals within a week of each other. It's like a soap opera, or high school. Either way, the whole thing just didn't seem like it was real. So the outcome? My mom kinda leaves both the guys hanging for a couple of days and then decides she has to give my Dad a chance to see if he's sincere. So as of right now, my Mom and Dad are back together. I can't even write my emotions because I've pretty much felt everything since this roller coaster started. It's just been crazy! So, I'm interested to hear everyones opinion because I really don't know what to think. I'm happy they're together, I just don't want to be disappointed again, and I'm worried our family will be the same way we were before the divorce, which wasn't very happy. I'm so thankful I have my own family, I don't know I could survive if I still lived at home!

This one is just for the ladies....

Has anyone seen those commercials for Veet? The one that shows the chick effortlessly wiping the cream on her legs and then wiping it off with that little shaver, and then she comes out of the bathroom after like 30 seconds and her husband or whoever is there rubs up her leg with that "silky smooth" look of approval on his face? Let me be the first to tell you that this commercial is NOT TRUE. I tried it. Veet. And here's how that commercial should go. A chick with hairy legs in a hurry goes into the bathroom with Veet. She pumps the cream onto her hands like the directions say and instantly throws up inside her mouth a little bit because the smell is something like dog poo mixed with ammonia. While dry-heaving, she rubs the cream onto her legs in a thick layer and starts jumping up and down in pain because the cream feels like it's burning through her flesh. After waiting the grueling 3 minutes she checks a patch of hair with the flimsy little shaver and finds that absolutely no hair is rubbing off. So she waits the maximum 6 minutes and checks again. Still hairy as ever. So she rubs as hard as she can with the flimsy little razor....still hairy. So she grabs a towel and rubs as hard as she can to wipe all the cream away...still hairy. Frustrated, she opens the bathroom door, gets a breath of fresh air, and finds her husband, waiting with anticipation. He takes a look at her blotchy, pink, hairy legs, and says, "I told you that stuff wouldn't work."
Ok, so maybe I embellished a little. The truth is, it does stink, it does sting a little, and doesn't work at all. I am so jealous of you ladies who only have to shave once every couple of weeks. I feel like a gorilla with my have-to-shave-every-single-day legs.

Let the good times roll!

My First Blog!!

Ok, so this is my first blog! The biggest thing going on right now is that we got a foster baby! His name is Christopher and he just turned eight months old. He's super cute and has been doing great since he came to live with us. He and Dustin get along great. Dustin loves to give him his pacifier and bottle and he loves to feed him too! He is a great baby and we are lucky to have him. It gets kinda crazy with two babies (especially since they are in the same room) but it's so wonderful to have double the smiles!